The Gingerbread Witch

The Gingerbread Witch

Written by: April Wahlin

Edited by: Talese Shertzer

~

Missy sat in the living room of her Gingerbread Home watching her son sink his fangs into a toy truck. She had never had this problem with her daughters. Then again, their father had been a Sorcerer and not a Scientist. Her new husband was a good man and brilliant, but she wished he'd mentioned his family’s genetic quirk before they’d had a baby together—it had missed her husband entirely, but hit her son full force. Puberty was not going to be fun.

She sighed and watched as her little boy swallowed the rest of his masticated tinker toy. No matter how much she fed him, he never seemed satisfied. The kid was no bigger than a Dwarf, but could somehow manage to eat an entire roast duck and still have room for dessert. At least living in a Gingerbread House provided her with extra food.

Missy sat back and cackled unexpectedly. Irritated, she put her hands to her temples and rubbed. She'd had this awkward version of Tourettes since she could remember, yet it never ceased to annoy her. Annoyance and frustration were feelings she was all too familiar with lately. She groaned as she thought back on the last year of her life: it hadn’t been good. Her husband had been gone researching some experiment, her daughter was away on the school Extension Trip, and her experiments to correct her Tourettes consistently resulted in her skin becoming a different color. Today her skin was a dark lime—but it was better than the canary yellow of the day before.

The throbbing in Missy's temples was just beginning to subside when the door chimes intruded on her calm.

“What now?” Missy groaned. Then cackled. Then got up to answer the door.

She really needed to check her Crystal Ball more often; she was not in the mood for visitors. Looking through the window, Missy was surprised to find Genevieve Goose standing on her candy apple red hard-candy porch. When she opened the door, the pleasantly rounded woman looked up through her little round bifocals and smiled tentatively through her round, rosy cheeks.

“Hello, Miss Wicked. I need to speak with you, if you have a moment,” Genevieve greeted politely.

“What a pleasant surprise. By all means come in.”

Missy let out a sigh as they settled into her couch. This wasn’t a wholly unexpected visit and from the look on Genevieve’s face, she was not the bearer of good news.

“I think you know why I’m here, Miss Wicked.”

“Missy,” she corrected, letting out a loud cackle.

Genevieve jumped slightly but continued. It wasn’t her first trip to Missy’s house.

“I’m here on government business. I think it will be easier if we keep this formal,” Genevieve replied.

“If you insist, Ms. Goose.”

“Thank you,” she nodded and took a deep breath. “It’s about those children you sent away a few months back. They’ve been making some rather...ahem...wild claims about you.”

“Yes, the rumor mill has trickled back to me.”

“Then you are aware of their accusations?”

“Yes. They're ridiculous! I would never eat a child.”

“I know that, Miss Wicked.”

“You know their background. The children were raised as con artists. Their parents had them begging on the streets before they abandoned them here. Terrible people!” In her disgust, Missy cackled abruptly.

“Well, the children will be fostered by their Uncle in the Industrial Domain.”

“Good, get those two cretins as far away from me as possible,” Missy sighed. “They nearly ate me out of house and home, then blamed me for how fat they got!”

“So, they did accuse you of fattening them up?”

“Yes, they got mad because I made them do chores, which you know I ask of all my tenants since they're staying and eating for free. They are the two laziest children I’ve ever seen. They even attacked me when I caught them stealing from my pantry! They nearly shoved me into my own oven trying to get away. Had I actually gone in, I would have been flambé, I could cook a horse in that thing. That was the last I saw of them and good riddance!”

“Yes well… they said you threatened to serve them up for dinner.”

“It was a joke!” Missy could no longer hide her anger. “One little joke about them being fatter than the turkey we were having for dinner and suddenly I’m a cannibal?”

Genevieve cleared her throat. “I believe you said,” she pulled out a small file and read, “ʻyou two are so round I should serve you up for supper. We would have meat for weeks.’”

Missy sighed then let out a high-pitched laugh. The cackles were always worse when she was stressed.

“In hind sight, that might not have been the best thing to say, but seriously. I have three children of my own. Why would I want to eat those two?”

“I’m sorry about all of this.” Genevieve sounded tired. “We thought setting you up out here to help lost travelers was such a wonderful idea. The number of people lost to the Black Woods has seen a substantial decrease in the few years you've been here. Building your house out of sweets to help people find it turned out to be a brilliant idea.”

“Well, it’s just easier for me to maintain,” Missy replied modestly. “I’m terrible with thatch and wood, but give me an oven and some sugar and I can produce miracles.”

“It was all working out so nicely.”

“Was? How bad is it Genevieve?”

Genevieve Goose shifted in her seat. “Well… I mean the Cinderella rumors just blew over.”

“Oh, not that,” Missy groaned. “None of that is true! You can go ask her, or any of my kids! I treated her like one of my own. You know what a clean person Cindy is—can't stand to leave a dish unwashed or a floor unswept. She was happy as a clam in my home. But when she told that dullard husband how she spent her time, he took it and ran with it! You know how the Charmings are about my family. They’ve hated us since grade school.”

“I know, but it’s the rumors,” Genevieve sighed. “Get enough people talking and they can make a Saint a Sinner. It’s all gossip, but you know how that spreads in town.”

“One of the many reasons I was happy to move out here in the first place.”

“Missy…” Missy took a deep breath, barely able to restrain a nervous cackle. This was it, the really bad news. “You’re going to have to close down the program.”

“No!” Missy was stunned. Cutting back her funding or salary she could handle, but being let go all together? “You’re firing me? How am I supposed to support my kids? My son is only two, his father’s always off on some wild goose chase… no joke intended. Amanda just left a few months ago on the Extension Program. You know how expensive that trip is! This is practically my entire income.”

“I’m sorry, Missy. I’ll do what I can, but we’ve been told to disband the project.” Genevieve placed a sympathetic hand on Missy’s shoulder. The two had been good friends in grade school. Mixing business with friendship was always difficult. “You also have to remove the 'Lost and Found' spell you created to guide people here,” Genevieve's voice was soft .

“That was a strong piece of magic. It won’t be undone easily,” Missy groaned.

“You have to, dear. It’s this new Government. You know it wouldn’t be like this if they had kept the monarchy. Then again, our little program might not even exist if King Richard hadn’t stepped down.” No matter how much kindness Genevieve put in her voice, there was no comfort for Missy. “And…” Genevieve sighed.

“Another and?”

“The Higher Ups have requested that you lay low until the brunt of the rumors stop circulating.”

“What?!” Missy’s cackle was almost a scream. “I'm under House Arrest?”

“Not as bad as all that, but essentially. It shouldn’t be too difficult. Amanda is away and there should be more than enough time between now and when your Son starts school for this to disappear.”

Her bifocals winked in the sunlight streaming through the sugar glass windows as she looked up at Missy. “You know I would help if I could, but I’m not going to be here much longer. This job is starting to get to me. I don’t think I'll be working for the Government anymore.”

“No! What are you going to do?” Genevieve seemed so content working for the Government. Missy wondered how many surprised one day could hold.

Genevieve thought for a moment and gave a little shrug.“Not sure. I have a teaching degree. I may apply for a position at Legends Primary.”

“Well, they would be lucky to have you.” Missy meant it; Genevieve was a good woman..

“Thank you, Missy,” Genevieve smiled sadly. “Please try not to worry about all this. There's a decent severance package and I’m trying to find another job you can fill in the meantime. You still have your home. You’re a very resourceful woman; I know you’ll bounce back. You always do.”

“Thanks,” Missy replied unenthusiastically. She unfolded her lanky frame from the couch to walk her rotund little friend to the door.

“I really am sorry,” Genevieve apologized again as she descended the hard candy steps. Turning back, she flashed Missy a smile,“By the way, that shade of green is lovely on you.”

“Thank you,” Missy’s chuckle was sincere. “Let’s get together for tea some time soon.”

“Only if you make those blueberry crumpets you do so well.”

“It’s a deal.”

Missy waved and watched as Genevieve disappeared from her yard. She cackled loudly to the empty yard and shut the door.

“Great.” Missy's forehead hit the door with a soft thunk. The sugar glass creaked in response. “I really need to start checking my Crystal Ball.” She turned to find Brody eating his way through the fruitcake fireplace. “I suppose I could start a candy store,” she laughed as she scooped her son off the floor. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He let out a resonating belch of agreement.

The End